Anxiety for Beginners: A Personal Investigation - Tapa blanda

A vivid insight into the often crippling impact of disordered anxiety, a condition that is often invisible, shrouded in shame and frequently misunderstood

It was a sticky summer afternoon, somewhere in that liminal haze between lunch and the last bell. Double biology. Leaning across the science lab bench marked with the compass carvings of bored hands, I saw the blackboard starting to blur. It fizzed like TV static. I felt tired – way too tired for not having done any PE that day. The teacher was talking about mitochondria. ‘They’re the powerhouses of cells!’ she may or may not have said.

Something weird was happening in my guts. Shit, I thought. I’m going to puke. I knew I shouldn’t have had two sausage rolls. The prickling sensation you get behind your ears when you’re about to vomit spread all over my head. I didn’t recognize it at all. Quickly it became very frightening. Within seconds I was convinced I was about to detonate there on my wooden stool.

This was possession, pure and simple.

Anxiety for Beginners serves as a guide for those who live with anxiety disorders and those who live with them by proxy. Combining her own experiences (rendered in emotive detail) with extensive research from experts (neuroscientists, psychiatrists, psychologists and fellow sufferers – including Matt Haig, Jon Ronson and other familiar faces), Eleanor Morgan explores not just the roots of her own anxiety, but also investigates what might be contributing to so many suffering around the world. She discovers the ways in which people can live a life that is not just manageable but enjoyable, learning to accept anxiety as part of who they are rather than spending a life fighting and being ashamed of it.

Eleanor Morgan has written and interviewed extensively for the Guardian, the Observer, The Times, the Independent, GQ, Harper’s Bazaar, ELLE and the Believer and worked as Senior Editor at VICE UK. Eleanor published a first-person account of her own struggles with anxiety as part of ‘The VICE Guide to Mental Health’, which was read by millions of people around the world. She has begun retraining as a psychologist, studying for her MSc in Psychology at the University of Westminster.